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What you've been tolerating.

For when you feel worn down and cannot say why. Do it once now, then redo it on the first of each month.

About 20 minutes to make the list, then one small move on each of three items over the next week

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Why it matters

A toleration is anything you put up with that drains a little time, money or energy every day: the drawer that sticks, the bill you forget, the meeting that always runs long, the friend who only calls to complain. None of them is a crisis. Together they wear you down.

During a change they multiply. A new role brings new annoyances. A move breaks every routine. After a layoff, the small stuff can feel too small to bother with, so it piles up and makes the big stuff heavier.

Listing them does two things. It shows you that 'tired for no reason' usually has reasons. And it turns a vague weight into a list of small, fixable items, most of which take less time to fix than you have already spent being annoyed by them.

How to use it

Read 'Where to look' and jot anything that comes to mind. Do not judge or fix yet, just list.
Pick the 10 that bother you most and write them in the list table, with what each costs you.
Circle three: the ones that would make the biggest difference, or the easiest to clear. A mix of both is good.
For each of the three, write one move you can make in the next seven days and a day you will do it.
Do the easiest one first, today if you can. The early win makes the next two easier.
On the first of next month, start a fresh sheet and see what carried over.

The worksheet

Today's dateNext redo date (one month out)The area that feels heaviest right now

Where to look

HomeThe broken thing you step around, the closet you avoid, the chore nobody owns.
Work or the job searchThe tool that crashes, the recurring meeting with no point, the inbox that runs your day.
MoneyThe subscription you do not use, the bill that always comes as a surprise, the account you have not looked at.
Body and daily routineThe shoes that hurt, the late nights, the lunch you always skip.
PeopleThe favor that became a habit, the conversation you keep postponing, the group chat that leaves you drained.
Time and calendarThe commitment you said yes to and regret, the commute you never questioned, the Saturday that is never yours.
Paperwork and loose endsThe form you have not filed, the return you have not mailed, the password you reset every time.
Phone and screensThe notifications you never read, the app you open without meaning to.

My ten

#	What I'm putting up with	What it costs me	Circle 3
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

The three I'll clear

Toleration	One move	By when	Done

Words for the ones that involve people

"I want to change how we handle ___. Starting next week, I'm going to ___."

"I can't keep doing ___. Here's what I can do instead: ___."

"I've been meaning to bring this up for a while. Can we find 15 minutes this week?"

"That doesn't work for me anymore. Thanks for understanding."

Monthly redo

Start a fresh list without looking at last month'sThen compare. Items that show up again are the real ones.
Cross off what you cleared and notice how it feels nowMost people forget how much a fixed item used to bother them.
For any item on three lists in a row, change the movePay someone, ask for help, or decide on purpose to accept it and stop counting it.

Example: two months into a new role

Made-up example. Marcus took a regional manager job and moved across the state. He felt tired all the time and blamed the new job. His list of ten included: a laptop that takes eight minutes to start, a standing Friday 4 p.m. call that could be an email, boxes still in the garage, a gym membership back home he is still paying, and a former coworker who texts him daily for advice.

He circled three. The laptop: submit an IT ticket on Monday. The old gym: call and cancel on Tuesday. The Friday call: ask his boss on Wednesday if it could become a written update.

The gym took six minutes. IT replaced the laptop in a week. His boss agreed to try the written update for a month. The boxes and the texting coworker went on next month's sheet, with a script line already picked out.

Common mistakes

Listing only big life problems; the fix is to include the small, daily, silly ones, because those are the point.
Trying to fix all ten at once; the fix is three, and one of them easy.
Writing a move that is really a project ('organize the garage'); the fix is the first hour of it ('empty two boxes Saturday morning').
Leaving people tolerations off because they feel awkward; the fix is to pick a script line and say it.
Doing the list once and stopping; the fix is to put the monthly redo on your calendar now.
Feeling guilty about how long the list is; the fix is to remember the list is a measure of what you have been carrying, not of how you have been doing.

Make it yours

After a layoffAdd a row for the job search itself: the clunky application site, the resume version mess, the recruiter who never calls back. Clearing these makes the search feel lighter.
New in a leadership roleDo a second list just for work, and ask your team what they tolerate. Their answers are your first fixes.
After a moveExpect a longer list for the first three months. Focus your three on daily routines: the commute, groceries, sleep.
Running a small businessPut a dollar figure in the cost column where you can. The slow invoicing system or the vendor who is always late often costs more than you think.

Use it with

The 10-minute weekly reset.Open →Decide, don't rehearse: a one-page decision sheet.Open →Your first 30 days leading people.Open →

Free to use, copy and share with your team. No sign-up.

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